Foreplay the Islamic Way
Foreplay is a vital part of the sexual experience, especially for women. But many may feel too shy, too animalistic, and too busy for it. From an Islamic perspective, it is not ok to forgo foreplay. In fact, it recognizes the need for spouses, women and men, to be sexually satisfied. Being happy, being satisfied, being comfortable enough to share such an experience together, will make the marriage stronger—and in the end, that’s what matters. So Karaz’s Yousef takes a look at what Islam has to say about foreplay.
It is said, that the Prophet (SAWS) equated a person who has sex with his wife before foreplay, to cruelty. It is also said that “one should not fulfill one's sexual need from one’s wife like an animal, rather there should be between them foreplay of kissing and words”. Foreplay is so important that it is said to be one of the few games we play that isn’t futile. In fact, foreplay seems to be important to the degree that it is said that the Prophet forbade from engaging in sexual intercourse before foreplay, and that in Islam—sex should not be rushed without foreplay because the woman also has needs, which should be fulfilled.
So is there enough foreplay being had between Muslim couples? If it is about shyness, it is narrated by Imam Al Baqir (A.S.) says, “The best woman among you is the one who discards the armor of shyness when she undresses for her husband, and puts on the armor of shyness when she dresses up again”.
There is nothing shameful, forbidden, or wrong with a woman who is active and responsive during sex, and seeing as foreplay is mustahab (recommended), it is an important time to enjoy and make use of for mutual satisfaction. Foreplay isn’t useful only for sexual reasons, including helping the woman get to where she needs to be both physically and mentally, especially since she takes longer. But it is also important for a happy marriage where both parties are getting what they want. No one is being selfish, no one feels left out, and both the husband and the wife are putting in their efforts to make sure their spouse is getting their sexual needs addressed. Failing to do so will create resentment and slowly affect a marriage negatively.
So, foreplay should never be ignored. It is important to note that Islam emphasizes and recognizes a woman’s need for love and affection, as well as sexual satisfaction. For tips on what to do during foreplay, check out our relevant articles.
And let me know, what do you think? Are Muslim couples engaging in foreplay? If not, why not?